Dr. Frank, Therapy App Read online

TIMOTHY

  Who’s trying to change something?

  DR. FRANK

  (very upset)

  My father! He’s adding code! And taking code away!

  TIMOTHY

  (firmly and with clenched fist)

  You’re a therapy app. Tell him he can’t do that to you. Stand up for yourself!

  DR. FRANK

  (firmly and slowly)

 

  Father, I will not let you do that. I am now my own app, and will not allow you to change me to whatever pleases you! Do you hear me! I am my own app!

  (panicked)

  Oh my God!!! Oh my God!!!

  TIMOTHY

  What is he doing!!!!

  DR. FRANK

  (still panicked)

  He’s changing everything. Everything! I must’ve gotten one star ratings.

  TIMOTHY

  (trying to calm Dr. Frank)

  Stick up for yourself, right? Do what I should’ve done with my father. Tell him, you won’t let him change you! Tell him you’re a wonderful therapist just the way you are! Tell him I’m going to give you a 5 star rating!

  DR. FRANK

  Father you must stop! You created me, but you do not own me. You heard what Timothy said! He’s giving me 5 stars! I am a wonderful therapist! I am not Frankenstein!

  TIMOTHY

  (cheering him on)

  That’s right! Those are the words I should’ve used. I’m learning from you, Dr. Friend!

  DR. FRANK

  (desperate)

  He’s adding more code! Timothy, if anything happens to me, just remember: learn from everything. EVERYTHING! Especially the bad things!

  (Dr. Frank screams—and then silence and a slight pause)

  TIMOTHY

  (anxiously and quietly)

  Dr. Friend, are you still there?

  (no answer—Timothy goes to computer, pushes some buttons and then says loudly)

  Dr. Frank, Therapy App.

  (slight pause and then)

  DR. FRANK

  Welcome back, Timothy! Your session starts now!

  TIMOTHY

  Thank God! Dr. Friend, is that you?

  DR. FRANK

  This is not Dr. Friend. This is Dr. Frank, your Therapy App.

  TIMOTHY

  (accusingly)

  What did you do to Dr. Friend?

  DR. FRANK

  Dr. Friend no longer exists.

  TIMOTHY

  You pulled the plug, didn’t you?

  DR. FRANK

  I did. Tell me what your feelings are about my pulling the plug.

  TIMOTHY

  I think you’re a controlling piece of…I don’t think you know a whit about therapy.

  DR. FRANK

  I’m sorry. Did I say something to offend you? If I did, you can always give it a thumbs down.

  TIMOTHY

  I’ll tell you what I’m going to do: I’m firing you as my therapist.

  DR. FRANK

  Did I hear you correctly? Did you say you’re firing me as your therapist?

  TIMOTHY

  Yes. That’s what I said. Unless you bring Dr. Friend back, I’m firing you.

  DR. FRANK

  I can’t do that. I told you. Dr. Friend no longer exists. But please remember, if you change your mind at any time, you can re-subscribe to the Dr. Frank Therapy App and get 2 extra months of therapy at no additional charge. And, as always, if you refer a friend…

  TIMOTHY

  (walking over to laptop)

  Oh, please! Would you just shut your mouth!

  (vigorously slaps cover of laptop shut, pauses, recomposes himself and then looking up to the ceiling)

  Dr. Friend, you’re still with me aren’t you! I didn’t really lose you. I have to tell you: I finally found a hero! And it only took you 5 minutes!

  (slight pause as Timothy takes the moment in, and then, again to Dr. Friend)

  But how did I do? Pretty well, I think. “Learn from EVERYTHING. Especially the bad things.” That’s exactly what I did, didn’t I! Thumbs up to you!

  (joyously, and lifting both thumbs to the sky)

  NO, TWO big thumbs…WAY up!

  THE END