Reality Book Group & 3 Other Short Plays Read online

REALITY BOOK GROUP

  and 3 other short plays

  by Richard Grossman

  Copyright 2013 by Richard Grossman

  Table of Contents

  Reality Book Group

  Bluefish

  Room with Maintenance

  Medium Security 2025

  REALITY BOOK GROUP

  A Ten Minute Play in One Act

  Cast of Characters

  Robert: Man dressed in sport coat and slacks

  James: Man dressed in sport coat and slacks

  Howard: Man dressed in sport coat and slacks

  Nick: Man dressed in blue jeans and tight tee shirt with tattoo on arm

  SETTING: Robert’s living room

  TIME: Present

  AT RISE: Robert, James, and Howard are sitting around coffee table. Two copies of Darkness at Noon are on the table. James is nervously thumbing through a third copy of the book.

  ROBERT

  Our new member is late. Do you still think he’s coming?

  JAMES

  I hope so. He said he would.

  HOWARD

  Where did you find him?

  JAMES

  In a convenience store. He looked like he was going to rob the place, but then I saw he had a book under his arm. Seemed like the perfect candidate, so I struck up a conversation.

  (Nick enters)

  Ah, here he is…

  (Robert, Howard, and James look at Nick. Nick looks at them.)

  ROBERT

  (to Nick)

  Hello, Nick! Welcome to the book group!

  NICK

  (puzzled and a little angry)

  O.K., but I’m not sure this is the right…

  (affected voice)

  venue.

  ROBERT

  (laughs)

  This is the right venue. We understand you’ve spent the last decade of your life… reading.

  NICK

  Reading and jerking off. What else was there to do? These days, even the fucking license plates are made in China.

  HOWARD

  James tells us you were serving time for armed robbery. 10 to 20?

  NICK

  You got it. Time off for good behavior.

  (15 seconds of awkward silence)

  JAMES

  (to Nick)

  I realize this may be an inappropriate question, given that we’ve only chatted once …but I was wondering…did you…you know…ultimately feel bad about doing what you did? You know, holding up a liquor store...

  NICK

  This is a book group right?

  ROBERT

  Of course.

  NICK

  Then why are you asking me all of these fucking stupid questions? When are we going to talk about the book?

  HOWARD

  (calmly)

  Just one more stupid question. Did you learn to be rude in prison, or is that what got you there in the first place?

  NICK

  (stands up)

  What’s your problem?

  HOWARD

  (stands up)

  What makes you think I have a problem?

  ROBERT

  Howard, would you sit down? Do you remember what happened at the last book group?

  HOWARD

  What?

  JAMES

  There was blood everywhere. Your blood.

  HOWARD

  What did you expect? He was an ex-boxer, and I’m a college professor.

  (Howard sits down)

  ROBERT

  (to Howard)

  Thank you.

  NICK

  (sits down)

  So do you think we’re ever gonna talk about the fuckin’ book?

  HOWARD

  Rude again…

  (Nick begins to get up, but Howard raises his hand, palm up in a conciliatory gesture.)

  ROBERT

  (to Nick)

  Then, wonderful! You must have a lot to say…

  NICK

  Maybe I do.

 

  ROBERT

  So, tell us: did you like the book?

  (everyone looks intently at Nick)

  NICK

  (angrily and defensively)

  What? You think I’m too stupid to like the book? That I wouldn’t get it?

  ROBERT

  Go ahead.

  NICK

  Go ahead what?

  ROBERT

  Tell us what you liked about the book.

  NICK

  (eyes Howard)

  Well, I liked the fact that it took place in prison…and the characters were OK.

  HOWARD

  (cynically and mocking)

  The characters were OK. That says a lot.

  NICK

  (with hostility)

  And fuckin’ flawed enough to be believable.

  HOWARD

  (smugly)

  You really think the characters were believable?

  NICK

  (stands up—with hostility)

  More believable than all of you. You have a problem with that?

  HOWARD

  (stands up and gets in his face—with even greater hostility)

  Really? You don’t find us believable?

  (points to fist)

  Well, you may find this believable.

  ROBERT

  (jumps in between the two men)

  Let’s everyone just calm down. OK, gentlemen? We have a book to discuss.

  (Nick and Howard stare at each other and then sit down)

  So………

  (Robert opens his palms as if to invite people to talk. Everyone looks at each other around the coffee table in silence for twenty seconds. No one speaks)

  ROBERT

  Anyone? ……………..

  Anyone?.......................

  Nothing more?.................

  OK, then I guess that’s it.

  NICK

  (in disbelief)

  That’s it?

  ROBERT

  Apparently. Unless you have something more to add.

  NICK

  You’re all fuckin’ college professors and none of you have any opinions about the book?

  ROBERT

  (calmly)

  You see, none of us have read the book.

 

  NICK

  (in disbelief)

  None of you have read the book…

  JAMES

  We stopped reading books years ago. We find real people so much more, well… real……so much more interesting.

 

  NICK

  (angrily)

  None of you have read the book?!!! So, why am I here?!!!!

  ROBERT

  (holds hands up in questioning fashion.)

  (Robert, James, and Howard look intently at Nick)

  NICK

  You mean you’ve been fuckin’ with me…

  (waits a few seconds, mutters to himself, then shakes head violently and pulls out a pistol)

 

  OK. That’s it. Give me your money. I want all of it.

  JAMES

  (a little enthusiastically)

  Really?

  NICK

  Who do you think I am? A choir boy? You can’t fuck with me! You’re gonna pay me for my time!

  (Robert and James take out wallet and hand over their money)

  NICK

  (goes over to Howard and holds the gun to his head)

  You too, asshole! Everyone pays.

  (Howard starts to take some money out of his wallet, but Nick grabs the wallet. Nick starts to leave but realizes he’s forgotte
n his book. He grabs his book off the coffee table and flings the other books around the room. He leaves with book in arm. The group waits until they’re sure he’s gone.)

  JAMES

  Whew! I was scared to death!

  HOWARD

  Really? I wasn’t. I knew from the first moment what was going to happen. I didn’t think there was any surprise at all.

  ROBERT

  So, you were a little disappointed.

  HOWARD

  I was. I hoped for more development. And he lacked complexity…although I must say, part of me identified with his… rawness.

  ROBERT

  (laughs)

  Yes, we could see that.

  (more seriously)

  There was certainly something immediate and unfiltered in his actions. Maybe he’s a part of all of us… James?

  JAMES

  I thought the best part was that he illustrated the old saw: “Character is fate.” That alone made it worth it for me....

  (silence for a few seconds)

  ROBERT

  Anything else?...........OK. A thriller…but I suppose I agree with you, Howard: very little behind it. Definitely not a keeper. Whose choice is it next?

  HOWARD

  Mine.

  ROBERT

  Any ideas?

  HOWARD

  I was thinking of inviting a defrocked priest…

  ROBERT

  Perfect. We can assign Lolita. It’s a classic…

  JAMES

  (meekly)

  What do you think: just this once, should we read the book?

  ALL

  (look at each other, and then enthusiastically, with fist bumps)

  Nah!

  THE END

  BLUEFISH

  By Richard Grossman

  A Ten-Minute Play in One Act

  Copyright 2012 by Richard Grossman

  Cast of Characters

  Ann-Marie Willoughby: Teacher in her early 30’s, visibly pregnant

  William Matthews: School principal around 50 years old

  John: 8-year-old student

  SETTING: Principal’s office in an elementary school

  TIME: Present

  AT RISE: Ann-Marie is in the midst of a hushed discussion with William. Ann-Marie is obviously agitated.

  ANN-MARIE

  …Of course I didn’t tell him. He’s a very odd kid. Apparently, his mother died in child birth, and his father is a drunk. There’s no one home for him. No one’s ever been home for him. That’s why I feel so bad.

  WILLIAM

  I told you not to keep it—that it would complicate things.

  ANN-MARIE

  I tried. When I went to the clinic months ago...

  WILLIAM

  Shhh!

  (John appears at doorway)

  Come in, John.

  (John enters)

  WILLIAM

  Have a seat.

  (John continues to stand)

  WILLIAM

  Please, have a seat.

  (John continues to stand)

  WILLIAM

  Is there some reason you don’t want to sit next to Ms. Willoughby?

  JOHN

  It’s too close.

  WILLIAM

  I don’t understand. She’s your teacher. Has she harmed you in any way? Are you scared of her?

  (John shakes head no)

  WILLIAM

  Then what is it?

  JOHN

  I told you, it’s too close.

  WILLIAM

  What do you mean “it’s”

  (John gives a little point of the finger towards Ann-Marie)

  WILLIAM

  What are you pointing at?

  ANN-MARIE

  You know what he’s pointing at.

  (William holds up hand to silence Ann-Marie)

  WILLIAM

  John, please tell me what you’re pointing at?

  JOHN

  That.

  WILLIAM

  What is that?

  ANN-MARIE

  Come on! Why are you torturing him? John, are you referring to my baby?

  (John shakes head yes)

  WILLIAM

  Ms. Willoughby is pregnant. That’s what you’re pointing at?

  (John shakes head yes)

  WILLIAM

  What do you mean it’s too close?

  (John shakes head and hands)

  WILLIAM

  You can’t talk about it?

  (silence)

  WILLIAM

  Ms. Willoughby tells me you’ve been following her around after school. Can you tell me why you’ve been doing that?

  (no answer)

  Can you at least tell me that you have, in fact, been following Ms. Willoughby around after school?

  (no answer)

  WILLIAM

  Look, John, you have to at least admit that you’ve done that.

  ANN-MARIE

  Bill… Mr. Matthews, for God’s sake, this isn’t a court of law, and John hasn’t committed a crime. (Towards the window) Maybe I have. Maybe you have. But not him. This is beginning to sound like an interrogation. Can’t you see that he’s unable to talk about it?

  WILLIAM

  He has to talk about it. I have to make sure everybody’s safe. That’s part of my responsibility as principal.

  ANNE-MARIE

  But he’s just a child! He’s not a danger to anyone!

  WILLIAM

  Ann-Marie…Ms. Willoughby, please! John. Have you or have you not been following Ms. Willoughby around after school?

  (John shakes head yes)

  WILLIAM

  And did you, yesterday, follow her to Wulf’s fish store.

  (John looks down)

  WILLIAM

  Well, did you?

  ANN-MARIE

  You know he did. I told you.

  WILLIAM

  Shhh! John? She went to the fish store. And you followed her?

  (John shakes head yes)

  WILLIAM

  Why? Why did you follow her?

  (John gives little shake of head)

  WILLIAM

  Well?

  (silence)

  WILLIAM

  Ms. Willoughby says you stood at the window, outside the shop, in front of the display of fish.

  JOHN

  Dead fish.

  WILLIAM

  Well, of course they’re dead fish. Do you think Mr. Wulf is going to sell live fish?

  ANN-MARIE

  Mr. Matthews…

  WILLIAM

  I’m just trying to point out that this wasn’t a class trip to the aquarium. OK then John, what did you see through the window at the fish store?

  JOHN

  Ms. Willoughby bought fish.

  WILLIAM

  That’s usually what someone does at a fish store.

  JOHN

  (angry, animated)

  Bluefish!

  WILLIAM

  Does it matter what kind of fish she bought?

  JOHN

  Once they’re hooked, they fight for their lives!

  WILLIAM

  Really? And how do you know that? Does your father take you sport fishing?

  ANN-MARIE

  I told you his father is an al…he’s never around.

  WILLIAM

  Right, so how do you know about bluefish, John?

  JOHN

  I know. They swim in schools and they fight for their lives when they’re hooked!

  (William sighs and shakes head)

  WILLIAM

  Apparently, you’ve been telling people that I’m the father of Ms. Willoughby’s…that I’m responsible for Ms. Willoughby’s …pregnancy.

  (silence)

  WILLIAM

  Who told you such a…tale?

  JOHN

  No one. No one had to tell me. I know. />
 

  WILLIAM

  (to himself, looking out the window)

  Apparently he’s an idiot savant.

  ANN-MARIE

  (upset)

  You can’t blame him for thinking you’re the father, when it’s…

 

  WILLIAM

  (interrupts Ann-Marie)

  John…I want to tell you something. I’ve been married for 22 years. My wife and I…we have three kids of our own. Three wonderful kids…the youngest, a boy, is exactly your age. You understand that, right?

  (turns back to look at John)

  And it would be quite damaging to all of them, especially the kids, if they caught wind of your…fantasy. Now, it’s quite normal that you are imagining that Ms. Willoughby and I are having a child together…given that we’re mother and father figures here in the school….

  ANN-MARIE

  (suddenly breaking down)

  I can’t believe you’re saying this to him. He’s an 8 year old motherless…fatherless boy who somehow happened upon the… How is he supposed to handle his knowing what he knows, if you’re denying it? How am I supposed to handle it? How am I supposed to handle him? Tell me! You can’t, can you?...I can’t take this any more…I dreamt last night…